Tears & Trucks

Today was a good day. Work was busy as usual. I love my job and the people I work with. Tonight, we went to buy the guestbook for the wedding, and then I took Stephen out to celebrate. He received good news from the doctor, and will be going back to his job of saving lives, tomorrow. I'm so happy for him! I'm doing a lot of little things for the wedding right now, because they make me smile. I looked at a list regarding what one is supposed to do and the associated timeline, but I'm going in my own direction. It's fun to buy the "little" things here and there. It makes it more fun. Today, I bought the guestbook and didn't cry. Usually, as I think about each new wedding item, I tend to cry because I want so desparately to ask my Mom her opinion. Funny, I've heard so many brides in the past say she wishes everyone would butt out so that she could have her own wedding. I suppose the grass is always greener. I know the big things will make me cry. I'm not sad, mind you. I'm so excited for the "big day," however, I wish I could share it with my Mom. I always told my Mom that she would give me away at my wedding. Not the "traditional" wedding event, but I didn't care. She was the one that was by my side my entire life. Naturally, she should give me away. Anyway, I enjoy thinking about my Mom as I plan this important day.

Crazy story. The Friday before Memorial Day weekend, I was driving home from work and started thinking about my Mom. When I am alone with my thoughts, my mind automatically goes to my Mom. Anyway, my cousin thought of a great idea to give a toast in honor of my Mom at the reception. So, on this ride home, my mind went to the toast. What would I say? I had a really good speech going. I was happy because it was about my Mom, but the tears were also streaming. I was preoccupied with my thoughts and the amazing speech I was writing in my head. It was a beautiful Friday afternoon, so I had the windows down. As I was stopped at a red light, letting the speech unfold, I heard someone say, "Are you all right?!" First, panic. I looked in the rearview mirror to ensure that no one was in my back seat. Next, I looked to the left, and a guy in his blue pick-up truck (F150, extended cab, suicide doors), was asking if I was "all right." I told him, "I was just thinking about my Mom." He proceeded to tell me how I was really crying hard, and how it was the beginning of Memorial Day weekend, and a three-day weekend, with beautiful weather ahead, and that I shouldn't be sad, I should be excited and looking forward to going out. He asked if my Mom was sick, or passed away or out of town. I told him, "It's been about a month." Keep in mind the tears had been streaming, and even though the speech about my Mom was eloquent and perfect, the words towards this strange guy were coming out choppy, and in my mind, incoherent. So, he apologized, expressed his condolences, and I said thank you and turned up my radio. We proceeded to remain next to each other for the next mile or so (awkward) haha. I guess I always thought that I was alone in the car, with my own thoughts. I never realized that someone might actually see me and the smile on or tears streaming down my face. He definitely got my mind off of crying. I don't really care what his intentions were -- I'd like to think it was genuine concern. Anyway, as I plan this wedding, I know there will be lots of tears, but I know my Mom is with me as I make all of the arrangements. This Friday we are going to go book the venue. I'm excited that my Aunt and Stephen's mother will be going with us. I'm so lucky to have such a supportive and sweet family. :)