Plans

Today is an up day. Everything for the wedding is falling into place. We've pretty much gotten all the plans together, now it's just a matter of budgeting and purchasing. Apparently, we are amazing planners because we already know what we want to do. Venue is confirmed along with the minister. Good times. I've decided on who is going to escort me down the aisle, so that's off my shoulders, too. :) Now it's just time to wait and slowly bring it all together. I'm really excited about marrying Stephen, but I'm also excited about all of the little ways we will honor my Mom at the ceremony and reception. I keep getting amazing ideas of what to do and how to do it. I think that will be one of the best parts about the day.

It's a long road ahead, dealing with not being able to share my day/thoughts/worries/happiness with her. I think planning the wedding distracts me, but it also makes me remember her and miss her. It's very bittersweet at this point.

I never want to stop thinking about her or doing things for her. I spent most of my life making her proud, and I will continue to live that way. This October, a bunch of us are going to walk for a charity in honor of my Mom. I had planned to do it anyway, but now it means so much more.

As the days go by, I know the grief will get easier. I'll be able to reminisce without the happy/sad tears. I don't know if I want to talk about her without tearing up, or if that will make me sad, too. Don't know if that makes sense. "One day at a time," is a great saying.

I love hearing how everyone remembers my Mom and what memories they cherish. Even if it results in tears, it's the best thing anyone can do. It's the little things in life that mean the most.